"Sanitary Engineer. And the name be Zion."
"Zion schmion. I'm pulling the plug on this whole cacaka affair. And with God as my witness...You'll never work in dis bidness again!"
"I think I came to the right place, yeah."
"He told it to the monkeys and they didn't talk back. He told the old iguana, and he didn't attack."
They told me before I started
This never ever would work out
Stay in school, don't be a fool
But I had to see what life was about
So I went to Biloxi seekin' fortune and fame
I got hired, I got fired, I got called dirty names
You'll never (never), never (never)
Work in dis bidness again
You will never (never), never (never)
Work in dis bidness again
I knew I needed representation
I found it one night in a bar
He was a bondsman and a part-time agent
He said that he could make me a star
He said, You don't have to be that good
To make it out in Hollywood
You just have to change and complain
Or you'll never (never), never (never)
Work in dis bidness again
No you'll never (never), never (never)
Work in dis bidness again
I parked cars at the Rainbow
I sold maps of the stars
I had my nose broke in Spago's
When I puked on the bar
All he's played's a double barmitzvah
(Bubba played a double barmitzvah!)
It's a jungle out there (we love it)
I don't care
I'm going back to my parrothead friends
I will never (never), never (never)
Work in dis bidness again
I will never (never), never (never)
Work in dis bidness again
No you'll never (never), never (never)
Work in this bidness again
Again
"Thank you very much. Well as if you didn't know by now, we are recording this for a live album. So this is a brand new song written by my good friend Mr. Mac McAnally. This is called In The City...hope you enjoy."
As a child on the farm
I was warned of the wiles of the city
Of that demon disguise
There's the dirt in the skies of the city
Well they say the proximity warps their minds
'Til they're shooting one another just pass the time
And we live it appears
Both in spite and in fear of the city
Oooohhh, ooohhhh yeah
Oooohhh
I was constantly told
How our lives were controlled by the city
How they keep us in debt
With the trends that they set it's a pity
Now the beautiful people in the magazines
Got the normal ones living beyond their means
And the things that they said
Made me go in my head to the city
Oooohhh
Ahhhhhhh
Ah, ahhhhhh
Ah, ahhhhhh
When I finally came
There's some things still the same in the city
You still lie under the thumb
Of the rich and the young and the pretty
Well they weren't much different than we might act
If there was that many others that closely packed
It's an ancient idea
But it struck me so clear in the city
Oooohhh, ooohhhh yeah
Oooohhh, ooohhhh yeah
Oooohhh
Ahhhhhh
Ah, ahhhhhh
Ah, ahhhhhh
"I'd like to do a song that was written about a good friend of mine down in Key West, Florida, where I spend a little bit of time. This particular friend of mine ran a bar in Key West for a long time before we got fed up with all the other alternatives to politicians and elected our favorite bartender mayor. Our mayor's name is Captain Tony Tarascino, has a little place called Captain Tony's Saloon where we wrote a little song called Last Mango in Paris, not to be confused with that movie by a similar title."
Chorus:
He said I ate the last mango in Paris
Took the last plane out of Saigon
I took the first fast boat to China
And Jimmy there's still so much to be done
I had a third world girl in Buzios
With a pistol in each hand
She always kept me covered
As we moved from land to land
I had a damn good run on Wall Street
With my high fashion model wife
Woke up dry beneath the African sky
Just me and my Swiss Army knife
Chorus:
I ate the last mango in Paris
Took the last plane out of Saigon
I took the first fast boat to China
And Jimmy there's still so much to be done
We shot the breeze for hours
As the sun fell from the sky
And like the sun he disappeared
Before my very eyes
It was somewhere past dark-thirty
As we went back to the head
I read upon the dingy wall
The words the old man said
He said I ate the last mango in Paris
Took the last plane out of Saigon
I took the first fast boat to China
And Jimmy there's still so much to be done
I ate the last mango in Paris
Took the last plane out of Saigon
I took the first fast boat to China
And Jimmy there's still so much to be done
That's why we wander and follow La Vie Dansante
"De ja vu, to you. Yes I have been here before. We'll do this song for all of you people who've been here before for all these years. That's what makes it all happen. I have never ever won an award for any music that I've written, but I don't really care when I have fans like parrotheads. Reward enough."
Headin' up to San Francisco
For the Labor Day week-end show
I've got my hush-puppies on
I guess I never was meant for glitter rock and roll
Honey I didn't know
That I'd be missin' you so
Chorus:
But, come Monday, it'll be all right
Come Monday, I'll be holdin' you tight
I spent four lonely days in a brown L. A. haze
And I just want you back by my side
Yes, it's been quite a summer
Rent-a-cars and west-bound trains
And now you're off on vacation
Some things are hard to explain
Yeah since I love you so
That's the reason we just had to go
But, come Monday, it'll be all right
Come Monday, I'll be holdin' you tight
I spent four lonely days in a brown L. A. haze
And I just want you back by my side
I can't help it honey
You're that much a part of me now
Remember that night in Montana
When we said there'd be no room for doubt
I hope you're enjoyin' the scen'ry
I know it's pretty out there
Yeah we can go hikin' on Tuesday
With you I could walk anywhere
California has worn me quite thin
It's so nice to be in Georgia again
And, come Monday, it'll be all right
Come Monday, I'll be holdin' you tight
I spent four lonely days in a brown L. A. haze
And I just want you back by my side
I spent four lonely days in a brown L. A. haze
And I just want you back by my side, oooh
"Yes, we white people been working on rhythm for a while but we've got a long way to go. So when we get to this next song we'd like for you to sing. I know that some of you may be a little hesitant here. The climate that's going around these days because some pea-brained people think that some of my songs are obscene and nasty. We know better don't we?
But I just feel sorry for the ones that don't. It's just that the times have moved so far ahead of 'em they're back in the pea-brained past."
"Time has moved so fast, I will give you a couple of examples. Today, a pair of tennis shoes costs more than a lot of your first automobiles did. I had a hundred dollar pick-up truck back in those days. I know. Can I get an AMEN for a hundred dollar pick-up truck?"
"Today there are two Madonnas. Our Lady of Fatima over here, and that woman from Michigan runnin' around Italy with Warren Beatty over here. Looks like Helen of Troy. Sue me baby sue me, yeah."
"And uh, we don't want you to think of this song in those terms because this song that we're about to get you to help us with is not a nasty, obscene song. It is a love song, from a slightly different point of view, that's all. And before we sing it we just want to bring you a little message of peace, prosperity, and hope in such a trouble world today. But Reverened Jim has a few things he thinks could work to solve our world problems and our world tensions."
"First of all, we send all the presidents of the savings and loans associations over to run the country of Iraq. That would solve two problems right there. And world peace, I've got an answer for world peace. We take the money that it'd cost us to build just one B-1 bomber, that one that doesn't work. We change it into five dollar bills. We put all of this money into bags and we fly over the Atlantic Ocean, past Europe because they're getting their shit togehter anyway. We drop this money on the Russian people. All those little tiny pictures of Abraham Lincoln come tumblin' down out of the sky. I want them to feel those sawbucks in their hands. You know how your money feels when you accidently leave it in your blue jeans and you take it out and it's all warm and soft, oooh! Well we let those Russian people hang on to that money for about a week and then we fly back over there. We fill our airplanes full of mail order catalogs from L.L. Bean. From up in Columbus, Sporty's Pilot Shop. And Victoria's Secret! The Russian people have this money in their hand, the catalogs come down. They look at those pictures on the opening pages of the Victoria's Secret catalog, not back in the outdoors section, you know what I'm talking about right? They got the money, they got the catalogs, they're going to get the idea. They send all the money back to us to buy the stuff. We have full employment. There's world peace, and the Russians have crotch-less underwear through the twenty-first century! Thank you!"
"So I hope you have no hesitation about joining us in this song. As I said, it is just a love song, from a different point of view."
I really do appreciate the fact you're sittin' here
Your voice sounds so wonderful
But yer face don't look too clear
Bar maid bring a pitcher, another round o' brew
"Alright let's here it"
Why (don't we get drunk and screw)
"You're on the record!"
Chorus:
Why don't we get drunk and screw
I just bought a water bed, it's filled up for me and you
They say you are a snuff queen
Honey I don't think that's true
So, why don't we get drunk and screw.
"I can't wait for 'em to put that label on my live album. You're sounding absolutely wonderful out there, but we have invited the all girls choir from Lima, Ohio down here and we can't here them too well now. We'd like all of you gentlemen out in the audience to just sorta take a break, sit back and let's let these beautiful women of the Nineties tell us how they feel about it. Ladies are you ready? On the count of four. One, two, three, four."
Chorus:
Why (don't we get drunk and screw)
"Whoo yeah!"
I just bought a waterbed it's filled up with Elmer's glue."
They say you are a snuff queen
Let's see what all you macho men can do
Why (don't we get drunk and screw)
"Oh yeah."
Why don't we get drunk and screw
"I think we better work this out amongst ourselves."
Why don't we get drunk and screw, oooh yeah
Ia ora te natura
E mea arofa teie ao nei
Ia ora te natura
E mea arofa teie ao nei
I know I don't get there often enough
But God knows I surely try
It's a magic kind of medicine
That no doctor could prescribe
I used to rule my world from a pay phone
Ships out on the sea
But now times are rough
Oh I got too much stuff
I can't explain the likes of me
Chorus:
But there's this one particular harbor
So far but yet so near
Where I see the days as they fade away
Finally disappear
But then I think about the good times
Down in the Caribbean sunshine
In my younger days I was so bad
Laughin' about all the fun we've had
I seen enough to feel the world spin
Mixin' different oceans meetin' cousins
Listen to the drummers and the night sounds
Listen to the singers make the world go 'round
Ia ora te natura
E mea arofa teie ao nei
Ia ora te natura
E mea arofa teie ao nei
Lakes below the mountain
Flow into the sea
Like oils applied to canvas
Oh how they permeate through me
But there's this one particular harbor
Sheltered from the wind
Where the children play on the shore each day
And all are safe within
A most mysterious calling harbor
So far but yet so near
Where I see the day when my hair's full gray
And I finally disappear
Ia ora te natura
E mea arofa teie ao nei
Ia ora te natura
E mea arofa teie ao nei
Ia ora te natura
E mea arofa teie ao nei
Ia ora te natura
E mea arofa teie ao nei
Ia ora te natura
E mea arofa teie ao nei
Ia ora te natura
E mea arofa teie ao nei
Ia ora te natura
E mea arofa teie ao nei
(Ua pau te maitai no te fenua)
(Te zai noa ra te ora o te mitie)
(Ua pau te maitai no te fenua)
(Te zai noa ra te ora o te mitie)
(Aah, aah, ah, ah ah ah)
(Aah, aah, ah, ah ah ah)
Vacantly occupied, sat on the beach 'til my body got fried
Dreamin' of your pretty eyes up in South Carolina
I can't pronounce my r's or g's
When I'm speakin' Southernese
Honey do, honey come and do me again
Do, do, ba do bie do bie
I've seen that fat cat style
Three hundred pounds of jive ass smile
Young girls gigglin' all the while
That's not my cup of chowder
I go for candlelight
Cold champagne every Friday night
Honey do, a little toast to me and you
Honey (honey) why couldn't you have taken the non-stop train
I'm hungry (hungry) and I really want to see you again
I know it's gettin' late
Waiter keeps starin' at your empty plate
Maitre'd keeps tellin' me
"Sir, she's just not coming"
Ba do bie do bie
Now what the hell does Utley know
We've been through all this befo'
Honey do, little toast to me and you
Honey (honey) why couldn't you have taken the non-stop train
I'm hungry (hungry) and I really want to see you again
Vacantly occupied, sat on the beach 'til my body got fried
Dreamin' of your pretty eyes up in South Carolina
I can't pronounce my r's or g's
When I'm speakin' Southernese
Honey do, honey come and do me again (one more time)
Yeah honey do, honey come and do me again
Oh oh oh oh
Honey do, honey come and do me again
Do do do do do do do ahhhhhhhhh
"Honey do, yeah. Honey do declare I'm gettin' a little bit hungry like that song said. How many people want a cheeseburger out there? Let's server them up right now, they're here."
Night I'd have these wonderful dreams
Some kind of sensuous treat
Not Havanas or bananas or daiquiris
But that American creation on which I feed
Chorus:
Cheeseburger is paradise (paradise)
Heaven on earth with an onion slice (paradise)
Not too particular not too precise (paradise)
I'm just a cheeseburger in paradise
Heard about the old time Taylor man
He eat the same thing again and again
Warm beer and bread they said could raise the dead
Reminds me of the menu at a Holiday Inn
Times 've changed for sailors these days
When I'm in port I get what I need
Not Havanas or bananas or daiquiris
But that American creation on which I feed.
Chorus:
Cheeseburger is paradise (paradise)
Medium rare with mustard 'be nice (paradise)
Heaven on earth with an onion slice (paradise)
I'm just a cheeseburger in paradise
I like mine with lettuce and tomato
Heinz 57 , French fried potatoes
Big kosher pickle and a cold draft beer
Well good God Almighty which way do I steer
Chorus:
Cheeseburger in paradise (paradise)
Heaven on earth with an onion slice (paradise)
Worth every damn bit of sacrifice (paradise)
To get a cheeseburger in paradise
I'm just a cheeseburger in paradise
To be a cheeseburger in paradise
Mother, mother ocean, I have heard you call
Wanted to sail upon your waters since I was three feet tall
You've seen it all, you've seen it all
Watched the men who rode you switch from sail to steam
In your belly you can hold the treasures few have ever seen
Most of 'em dreams, most of 'em dreams
Yes, I am a pirate, two hundred years too late
The cannons don't thunder, there's nothin' to plunder
I'm an over-forty victim of fate
Arriving too late, arriving too late
But I've done a bit of smugglin', I've run my share of grass
Made enough money to buy Miami, but I pissed it away so fast
Never meant to last, never meant to last
I have been drunk now for over two weeks,
Passed out and I rallied and I sprung a few leaks
But I've got stop wishin', got to go fishin'
I'm down to rock bottom again
Just a few friends, just a few friends
"Nice to see all of our friends every year. Thank you
friends."
Now I go for younger women, lived with several awhile
Though I ran 'em away, they'd come back one day
And I still could manage a smile
Sure takes a while, just takes a while
Mother, mother ocean, after all my years I've found
Occupational hazard being my occupation's just not around
Feel like I've drowned, but I won't wear a frown
Feel like I've drowned, I'm gonna go check out
Peachtree Street somewhere downtown
Well he always like to go to the islands near and far
He always found his way by Orion lucky star
He'd tell them of their joys, he'd tell them of their woes
They loved to see him come, they'd hate to see him go
Oh oh oh oh, Jolly Mon sing
Oh oh oh oh, make the magic ring
He was makin' his way home on a dark and stormy night
When he heard a cry for help, and he saw a passin' light
When he reached the other boat, offered them a hand
They said Give us all your cargo
As they took a pirate stand
Oh oh oh oh, Jolly Mon sing
Oh oh oh oh, give 'em everything
Jolly Mon it's over sing your last song very well
They tossed him in the ocean
'cause their hearts were made in Hell
Came along a dolphin, he said, Jolly Mon hello!
I've always loved your singing, climb aboard, don't let go
Oh oh oh oh, Jolly Mon sing
Oh oh oh oh, give 'em everything
The night was filled with magic, they bid the sea goodbye
Swam into the heavens and they stayed up in the sky
And all the Island people when they wish upon a star
See the Dolphin and the Jolly Mon
Who tell them where they are
Oh oh oh oh, Jolly Mon sing
Oh oh oh oh, give 'em everything
Oh oh oh oh, Jolly Mon sing
Oh oh oh oh, make the magic ring
Oh oh oh, oh oh oh
Oh oh oh, oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh Jolly Mon sing
Oh oh oh, oh oh oh
Oh oh oh, oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh Jolly Mon sing
"Goodbye Jolly Mon. This is the scariest song of the evening for some people. Oooohhhh. Especially for any of you people who came here this evening, left somebody at your house to watch after your things. People with names like Snake, Johnny D., Everlasting Moonie. And the last thing the said to you was, Don't worry about a thing, we'll treat it like our own. This could happen to you."
"And as I told my friend Zachary Richard, when you leave home, some things never change."
"Hit it!"
So long boss, knock 'em dead, don't you worry 'bout a thing
I wish that we could come along, we'd love to hear you sing
The limo's here, your bags are packed
The list is by the phone
Me and Snake will watch your place, treat it like our own
Look at all this liquor
Look at all this food
It's only gonna go to waste
We're not really being rude
But the good stuff's in his closet, I swear he wouldn't mind
Hell we'll just shoot the lock off, I do it all the time
We're gypsies in the palace, He's left us here alone
The Order of the Sleepless Knights
Will now assume the throne
We ain't got no money, we ain't got no right
But we're gypsies in the palace, we got it all tonight
There's damsels in distress up there
And we got all this beer
We'll free them from their condos
Bring 'em over here
We'll show them his gold records
Play his music loud
We'll party just like Bubba does
We'll do the old man proud
We're gypsies in the palace, there ain't no wrong or right
We're gypsies in the palace, and a' goin' wild tonight
He's the greatest guy to work for, man he's really cool
Hey Snake this party's gettin' dull
Throw someone in the pool
Let's all take our clothes off and form a conga line
Watch out for that broken glass, hey Snake we need more wine
We're gypsies in the palace, there ain't no wrong or right
We're gypsies in the palace, and we're raisin' hell tonight
Hi there boss, what's goin' on
You say you're coming WHEN?
I'll send Snake out to pick you up tomorrow night at ten,
OKAY!
Everybody outta here, this joint is closin' down
We gotta find someone to clean this up
He's comin' back to town
Hi there boss we waxed your car
We raked and mowed your lawn
We couldn't find enough to do
In the short time you were gone
Man it sure is peaceful here, you've really got it all
And if we ever hit the road again, give me and Snake a call
We're gypsies in the palace, he's left us here alone
The Order of the Sleepless Knights
Will now assume the throne
We ain't got no money, we ain't got no right
But we're gypsies in the palace, we got it all tonight
She came down from Cincinnati
It took her three days on a train
Lookin' for some peace and quiet
Hopes to see the sun again
Lives down by the ocean
Takin' care to look for sharks
They hang out down around the Waterfront way
And feed right after dark
Chorus:
Can't you feel 'em circlin', honey
Can't you feel 'em schoolin' around
Fins to the left, fins to the right
You're the only bait in town
Oh oh
Oh oh
You got fins to the left, fins to the right
You're the only bait in town
Saving up most of her money
"I thought I saw something"
Wants to head it south in May
Roll in the sand with a rock 'n' roll man
Somewhere down Montserrat way
The money's still good in the season
Helps to lighten up her load
Boys keep her high as the months roll by
She's getting postcards from the road
Chorus:
Can't you feel 'em closin' in, honey
Can't you feel 'em schoolin' around
Fins to the left, fins to the right
You're the only bait in town
Sailed off to Antigua
Three days on a boat
Lookin' for some peace and quiet
Hopes to keep her dreams afloat
Feels like a remora
School's still close at hand
Just behind the reef are the big white teeth
The sharks that swim on the land
Chorus:
Can't you feel 'em circlin', honey
Can't you feel 'em schoolin' around
Fins to the left, fins to the right
You're the only bait in town
Hey you got fins to the left, fins to the right
You're the only girl in town
"Oh yeah! Sittin' here in the city of Atlanta, the state of Georgia, on the island of Margaritaville. Please remain standing for the national anthem."
Chorus:
Wastin' away again in Margaritaville
Searching for my lost shaker of salt
Some people claim that there's a woman to blame
And I know this is usually some woman's fault
I don't know the reason
I stayed here all season
With nothin' to show but this brand new tattoo
But it's a real beauty
Oh those Atlanta cuties
Over the years well I have met me a few
"And they've been so good to me."
Chorus:
Wastin' away again in Margaritaville
Searchin' for my lost shaker of salt
Some people claim that there's a woman to blame
Now you really think I'm gonna admit this is my fault
Ha
I blew out my flip-flop
Stepped on a pop-top
I broke my leg twice I had to limp on back home
But there's booze in the blender
Soon it will render
That frozen concoction that helps me hang on
(hang on, hang on, hang on)
Wastin' away again in Margaritaville (yes I am, yes I am)
Searching for my lost shaker of salt
Some people claim that there's a woman to blame
But I know it's my own damn fault
"Let's admit it boys"
Yes, some people claim that there's a woman to blame
There always is and I know
It's my own damn fault
My damn fault
"It's my fault alright."
"I'd like to take you back to the beginnings when I first heard this song. This is what got me out of Mobile, Alabama. Thank you Harry Belafonte. I hope you like what we've done to your song. Here we go."
Chorus:
Now I'm sad to say
I'm on my way (on my way)
I won't be back for many a day
My heart is down
My head is turning around
I had to leave a little girl in Kingston town
Sounds of laughter everywhere
And the dancing girls sway to and fro
I must declare my heart is there
Though I have been from Maine to Mexico
Chorus:
Still I'm sad to say
I'm on my way (on my way)
I won't be back for many a day
My heart is down
My head is turning around
I had to leave a little girl in Kingston town
"Yeah, Robert G."
Down at the market you can hear
Ladies cry out while on their heads they bear
Ackev rice, salt fish are nice
Oh the rum is fine anytime of year
Chorus:
Now I'm sad to say
I'm on my way (on my way)
I won't be back for many a day
My heart is down
My head is turning around
I had to leave a little girl in Kingston town
Down the way where the nights are gay
And the sun shines daily on the mountaintop
I took a trip on a sailing ship
But when I reached Jamaica I made her stop
Chorus:
Now I'm sad to say
I'm on my way (on my way)
I won't be back for many a day
My heart is down
My head is turning around
I had to leave a little girl in Kingston town
I had to leave a little girl in Kingston town
I had to leave a little girl in Kingston town
"On my way Harry. Holy cow. I don't know!"
Chorus:
Hey I don't know
I don't know
I don't know where I'm a gonna go
When the volcano blow
Chorus:
Well let me hear ya
I don't know (up on the lawn)
I don't know (up in the front)
I don't know where I'm a gonna go
When the volcano blow
Ground she's movin' under me
Got ya tidal waves out on the sea
Sulphur smoke up in the sky
The parrotheads ah they know how to fly
Chorus:
Hey I don't know
I don't know
I don't know where I'm a gonna go
When the volcano blow
My girl quickly said to me
Hey James you better watch your feet
That lava comes out soft and hot
You better lava me now or lava me not
Chorus:
See I don't know
I don't know
I don't know where I'm a gonna go
When the volcano blow
"Hey Mr. Utley."
No time to count what I'm worth
Hey I just left the planet earth
But a' where I go I hope there's rum
After these two shows I'm gonna have me some
Chorus:
I don't know
I don't know
I don't know where I'm a gonna go
When the volcano blow
But I don't want to land in New York City
Don't want to land in Mexico (no no no)
Don't want to land in the Three Mile Island
Don't want to see my skin aglow (no no no)
Don't want to land in Commanche Sky park
Or in Nashville, Tennessee (no no no)
Don't want to land in no San Juan airport
Customs there they hassle me (no no no)
Don't want to land no San Diego
I'd rather land where I can see (no no no)
Don't want to land in the Gulf of Sidra
Cincinnati's fine with me
Chorus:
I don't know
I don't know
I don't know where I'm a gonna go
When the volcano blow
Chorus:
Watch out now, I don't know (I never did)
I don't know (I never will)
I don't know where I'm a gonna go
When the volcano blow
"Thank you!" [an error occurred while processing this directive]